Quick Ones

Quick Ones

Epitaph on a gravestone of a hypochondriac - I TOLD you I was sick.

If you can't stand solitude, maybe you bore others too.

"I wish I had the money to buy a elephant."
"What do you want a elephant for?"
"Nothing. I just want the money."

Woman, phoning a nightclub: "Look and see if my husband is there."
Proprietor: "How can I recognize him?"
Wife: "He's the one who looks guilty."

The sage who said "Go West" never had to do it on a cloverleaf intersection.

You never can tell about some people, and if you can, you shouldn't.

There's one thing about baldness - it's neat.