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Having a Bad Day?

Heaven is getting crowded and God realizes that he has got to do something about it. After some thought, he sends down a new rule to St. Peter on letting people into heaven. It decrees that only people who really had a really bad last day are allowed to enter.

So, the first man coming up after the ruling stands before St. Peter and St. Peter asks, "Tell about you last day on earth." So the man begins:

"I can't believe it, what a day to to die, worst day of my life. I am sitting at work and I know that my wife is having an affair. In fact, I know she's sleeping with the guy right then. So, I leave work, don't even tell anyone where I am going. I get to my apartment and begin searching the place. I look everywhere and for the life of me I cannot find the guy.

Exhausted and frustrated I go out onto the balcony for some fresh air. Low and behold there the guy is, hanging over the side of the balcony, hanging onto the railing. Well, I go back inside, get a hammer and start smacking the guy in the fingers. He falls all 25 floors and to my utter amazement, he lands in some bushes and lives. So, I go back in the house, grab the refrigerator, and push it over the railing on top of the guy and kill him.

Well, the fact is, I have always been a good Christian man and the thought of what I have done overcomes me and I have a heart attack and die."

Peter thinks for a minute and says, "Well, I guess you payed the ultimate price and it was a crime of passion. Come on in."

Next guy comes before St. Peter and again he asks, "Tell me about your last day."

"I can't believe it, what a way to die. I am at the peak of my career. I'm a ballet dancer... Nothing wrong with that. I have just finished up doing Swan Lake around the world to great reviews and just signed on for the lead roll in the Nut Cracker.

I am in my apartment practicing some new moves for the play. Well, I guess I got a little carried away and I started jumping around on the balcony. I jump on the railing and clumsy me, I slip and fall. I live on the 26th floor, but somehow, I manage to twist myself around and grab onto the balcony below me.

Well, there I am, hanging there counting my blessings, when the next thing I know, there is this lunatic with a hammer who begins smashing me on the fingers.

Well, eventually I can't hang on, and fall the rest of the way to the ground. Again, I am totally amazed as I land in some bushes and live.

But, next thing I know, I can see this same lunatic pushing a refrigerator over the balcony and on top of me."

Well, St. Peter just chuckles a little and thinks to himself that this new rule is going to be kind of fun, and then says to the man, "Boy, that is a pretty bad last day. You're in."

So, a third man shows up and stands before St. Peter.

Peter asks, "Tell, me about your last day."

The man replies: "Okay, picture this. I am naked and hiding in a refrigerator..."