TopicViewer Home : Jokes Home : Men : Boxers or Briefs?

Boxers or Briefs?

A fellow went to his doctor for the umpteenth time to get treatment for his latest incapacitating migraine headache. The doctor had reach a dead end, trying once again to no avail to help the man, so he referred him to a neurologist.

The neurologist just happened to be one of the top researchers in his field, so he confidently told the fellow "With our world-leading research here at the University we've discovered that there is a direct link between migraines and pressure in a man's testicles. When there is too much pressure inside, it can result in a lifetime of severe migraine headaches for the unfortunate sufferer."

With that, the fellow was placed on a list to be assessed for further treatment. Weeks later the neurologist had to break the news to him: "Sir, please be calm. It looks like we're going to have to remove your testicles to stop your migraine headaches once and for all."

An operation was scheduled, and in the weeks beforehand the man lamented the loss of his private parts, but was still satisfied that he could have a life free of such terrible agony as he had been having. He had ongoing doubts and bad feelings about losing his family jewels, but he tried his best to keep upbeat.

The operation went without a hitch, and sure enough the fellow experienced an entire day in which he did not have a migraine headache! He was elated, and for the first time in so many, many years strolled around the downtown area, saying hello to everyone he met, feeding ducks at a pond, helping little old ladies across a street, and just generally loving his very existence.

As he rounded a corner, he saw a very beautiful woman and said under his breath "Now that's myyyyyy kinda gal!!!" and although he was sky high with love of life, his mind quickly turned to the absence between his legs and he felt terribly inadequate, even unmanly. Heartbroken, he strode on.

Despondent, he walked into a church, and the minister told him to hold his chin up and truly love life, and that all would be well again. After all, he no longer had the headaches, right? On parting, the minister suggested that the fellow go treat himself to some new clothing to symbolize his improved lot in life.

A few blocks away, a very old tailor welcomed the fellow into his shop, and said "Sir, my father started this haberdashery in the 1920s, and he taught me everything I know about men's clothing. I can tell right now without measuring you that you take a 16 1/2 collar."

The fellow chuckled and said "Yes, that's correct."

The old tailor said "I can tell that your pant size is 36/32."

Again, the fellow agreed with a smile. "You sure know your stuff."

The old tailor added "Sir, you strike me as a man setting out on a new course, about to do great things. I think you could really use a new double breasted, three piece suit..." and then proceeded to correctly tell the fellow his exact measurements just by looking at him.

The fellow was quite amazed by this, and offered "I can't believe how good you are at your estimates. You're an expert!"

"I've had lots of practice at this, son." The tailor again gave his estimates of other dimensions and clothing sizes and was so accurate that the fellow was beside himself with astonishment. "You are simply amazing! I'll tell all my friends about you!

With his arms full, the fellow made his way to the door, then turned around. "By the way, there's just one thing you've forgotten and that is underwear. I'd like a few pairs of briefs please."

The tailor quickly replied "No sir, you need boxers."

The fellow was pleasantly surprised that he had finally foiled the tailor. "AHA! Got you! I've been wearing briefs since I was a kid. I want briefs please!"

This time the tailor quickly, loudly retorted "NO SIR!!! You need boxers."

Again, the fellow insisted "No, I want BRIEFS please!"

Finally the tailor, who had been getting more and more upset, shouted "Sir, if you wear briefs they'll be too tight and will cause your testicles to be under too much pressure, causing a lifetime of severe migraine headaches!!!"